FAMILY | may 16th, 2024
The unpopular reason I said YES! To my husband of 20 years +!
Tah: “Baby let’s cross over to the other side of the road so that I can get you into a cab that will take you home safely”
Mah: …hesitation and more hesitation
Tah: It is getting late, let’s go. Are you ok?
Mah: No, before I go, I wanted to let you know that I need some supplies (proceeds to list out some items randomly buy costly with a dateline attached).
Tah: silence and more silence…. Hmmm. Baby I understand everything you just said and in no way do I undermine your needs, however there is something I would like to tell you.
Tah: You see, the truth is, in as much as I will love to give you the world, at this moment and in this season of my life, I cannot. I have to be honest with you. I can go out there and borrow some money and get these items for you just to look rich, but that will be fake, and I am not fake. You can either accept me for who I am now or…
Mah: (Shocked and impressed at the same time while maintaining some silence). Oh well…you can take me home now.
Ken and I had been dating for two months when this happened. When I left him that evening, I knew within me that this wasn’t my ideal relationship and probably will not last. The truth was, I didn’t lack all those things neither was I the materialistic type. For some reason, it just felt good to have your “guy/boyfriend” be able to at least take care of you with the basics. As the night grew older, I made mental comparisons of Tah with previous relationships that effortlessly factored me into their budget by default and I shook my head and said, “This cannot work”.
Hours later, I began to feel different about the conversation that evening. A strange kind of beauty about his sincerity and honesty was growing in me. The kindness in his voice, the lack of pretense that came with zero desire to impress me became euphoric Unbelievable! My thoughts screamed!!! These thoughts quietly led to a smile that swelled up from my heart through my cheeks and back into my heart screaming FULFIMENT. A unique kind of peace was translated into my entire being. This culminated into an exciting desire to explore further and its 2024, your girl is still exploring.
You see, in today’s world, the craving for material things and a deep appreciation for outward traits in relationships is almost consuming the things that make a good foundation. When our kids ask me my reasons for saying YES! To their dad, I find that HONESTY and KINDNESS are always on the list. No wonder Mitch Albom of Tuesdays with Morrie puts it this way “You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness.” Today, there is nothing I need that he cannot afford.
Lesson: in choosing a life partner, seek character traits that can outlive anything money can buy even as you ensure that there is financial stability and security.
Collaborations:
Dravet syndrome Foundation
Zoe Creative Studios
GirlStrong Mentoring
Gilead Squad (Medical Unit/Department) Gilead Resource Hub: www.wcimd.com/gilead
Victoria Healthcare Services (Board of Directors)
ProQuest (published article)
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